Receiving: Can Someone Find It Hard To Receive If They Experienced Developmental Trauma?

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Receiving: Can Someone Find It Hard To Receive If They Experienced Developmental Trauma?

By Oliver JR Cooper

If someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that it is often hard for them to receive what they need to survive, let alone thrive. So, when it comes to money, they may rarely have enough.

Keeping a roof over their head is then going to be a challenge and they might not always have enough to eat. Due to this, they are seldom going to have enough money to buy 'luxury' items.

One Big Struggle

They might not have been on holiday for years and they might not even think about going away either. But, if they are struggling to make ends meet, they won't have much energy left to think about such things.

Now, this is not to say that they won't have a job and will be living on handouts. No, they could have one or a number of jobs, but, no matter how many they have, they won't earn enough money.

Another Area

Along with this, they may find that there are not many people in their life and those that are in their life are not very supportive. Thanks to this, they could believe that they have to do just about everything by themselves.

When it comes to their romantic relationships, this might not be any better as they might not have ever been in a relationship. Or, if they have, they may have been with at least one person who wasn't able to truly be there for them.

Running On Empty

If they were a plant, they would only receive a few drops of water every now and then. As a result of this, they won't receive what they need to grow and expand but they will receive just enough to make sure that they don't die.

Therefore, it will be normal for them to be in a deprived state, and to see life as being one big challenge. They won't need to look for challenges to overcome, simply getting through each day will be a challenge.

Putting In the Work

If they typically work hard and do what they can to try to change their circumstances, it could be said that they will be doing the right thing. This will mean that they won't just be sitting around, waiting for their life to change.

Still, it could be even harder for them to handle what is going on as they will exert so much effort, whilst receiving very little in return. If they have the tendency to feel like a victim, it won't be much of a surprise.

A Saviour

At times, they may imagine what it would be like for someone to come and save them from what is going on. With this being a time when they would finally receive what they needed to be able to thrive.

At other moments, they could wonder why other people are able to receive what they need and are not struggling like them. It could seem as though these people have something that they themselves don't have or are special in some way.

No Control

They could believe that the only way that their life will change is if what is going on 'out there' changes. Unless this happens, they will just have to put up with what is going on and continue to suffer.

However, although it may seem as though what is going on externally is the issue, what if this is not the case? What if what is taking place inside then is what is stopping them from receiving what they truly need?

A Deeper Look

There is the chance that, deep down, they don't feel safe enough to receive and, thus, have the need to keep the world at bay. The trouble is that as they are not aware of this, it is as if someone or something 'out there' is depriving and/or even punishing them.

At this point, they could struggle to understand why they would be this way, especially as it is not serving them. To understand why this is, it will be necessary for them to take a closer look into what took place during their formative years.

Way Back

This may have been a time when they missed out on the care that they needed to be able to grow and develop. So, when they were not neglected, their caregiver might not have attuned to their needs.

By not receiving the attuned care that they needed, they wouldn't have been able to bond with their primary caregiver. When their caregiver was there, though being out of tune with them, they would have traumatised them.

A Threat

Human contact, something that they needed, and life in general, would have ended up being associated as a threat to their very survival. The way for them to handle this pain would have been for them to shut down and disconnect from themselves.

As they were totally powerless and dependent, they had no other way of responding. Back then, being in a disconnected state and keeping life at bay would have stopped them from being traumatised, along with depriving them of the nutrients that they needed, and now, it will cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

Awareness

This brutal stage of their life will be over but a big part of their being won't have moved on from what happened. This is why they will still have the need to keep life at a distance and why they will rarely, if ever, be able to receive what they need.

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, inner child and inner awareness. With over two thousand, eight hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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